BEDA: 99 Lessons of 2010

Back in 2010 I made a list of 99 things I learnt that year. This is that list.

  1. Don’t climb out of a bike shed over the railings with your bike if the entrance is open
  2. Switzerland is an expensive country
  3. £1 strudel is amazing, get it before it goes up to £1.50
  4. Trying to cycle… without brakes… in the rain… at night… without bike lights… after you’ve been drinking… with Yasna Mostofi on the back… is not a good idea
  5. Uno never gets old, no matter how old you are
  6. Irish snap hurts
  7. Maths students don’t necessarily know how to count
  8. Sad music makes you sad, so listen to happy music
  9. Take a camera everywhere, you never know!
  10. You get what you pay for
  11. No matter how old you are, bouncy castles are fun
  12. Swimming after a long day at work is bliss
  13. Wagamama’s is an amazing place to eat
  14. If you’re going to be in the audience of a TV show, don’t let Criddle operate the sat-nav
  15. Suicide is a selfish act
  16. Great friends know when to listen
  17. Family gatherings are easier to manage with lots of alcohol
  18. White chocolate spread is God’s gift to this earth
  19. Drinking out of a goblet is cool
  20. Vodka jelly tastes better from a cleavage
  21. Cranium is a fantastic party game…
  22. …but not as good as twister
  23. Bringing a tent to a party and then pitching said tent in the centre of the party will get you noticed
  24. There are occasions when bringing carrots to a party is acceptable
  25. Gate-crashing is a great way to make new friends
  26. Using deodorant to light a fire is ineffective at best
  27. The new Southern Comfort bottles aren’t as cool as the old ones
  28. Moshing raises the risk of losing a phone to “very high”
  29. Getting so drunk you lose your house keys is not popular with your housemates
  30. Revising in the garden, while sounding like a good idea, is counter-productive
  31. Spying on your hot neighbours is frowned on by your female housemates
  32. Friends quotes always have to be said in an American accent
  33. You can go to the theatre too much
  34. Making a cake for a meeting will make you a very popular person
  35. Some people are just too good at quizzes
  36. Free curry is always a good thing
  37. Comedy is better in a space without a bar in it
  38. Reciting bad poetry at an open mic is not taken well by the crowd
  39. £60 steak is damn tasty
  40. The Italians do eat pizza a lot
  41. Cramming sessions are better with a whiteboard
  42. Very specific geeky jokes have a narrow appeal, but are very funny
  43. There is no fun in funeral
  44. Gliding is something everyone should do
  45. You can buy too much chocolate, according to Swiss Air hand baggage regulations
  46. Barbershop Quartets are remarkably popular
  47. Giraffe give out free miniature multi-coloured giraffes. You can and should abuse this.
  48. No matter how much you believe you don’t need a Smartphone, having one will change your life
  49. The whoopee cushion” is easily the funniest thing you can say
  50. Trying not to laugh as someone is hit in the face with an apple pie is as hard as it sounds
  51. The Media Engineering Degree at Surrey is a joke
  52. There are still some propeller planes in operation
  53. Snow and England don’t mix
  54. Everyone is really nice to you at weddings
  55. No matter how much you hate football, you can still appreciate watching an arsenal game from a corporate box
  56. Crying in a pub is sometimes unavoidable
  57. There is never a wrong moment for a Monty Python quote
  58. Large files from a Mac to a PC is still not easy
  59. Inhaling helium from balloons is funnier when drunk
  60. Doner meat and chips with mayonnaise is the perfect complement to a night out
  61. You can’t fall asleep in a nightclub without someone noticing
  62. If your friend has been missing for 24 hours after going on a date, give them another hour before contacting the police
  63. Strawberry cider is good
  64. Bar Med is now rubbish
  65. You should always take advantage of a free Chinese meal
  66. You can’t down drinks with ice in
  67. Rum and Sainsbury’s Blue Bolt don’t mix, at all
  68. Camping is better when pissed
  69. Ministry of Sound nightclub is shit, never go there
  70. Saving Private Ryan is a long film, and only the first bit is good
  71. Orange Wednesdays are busy, get there early
  72. Don’t miss any opportunities
  73. Dinner can just be a fish finger sandwich
  74. 11 shots of Goldschlager will make you forget things
  75. You can bullshit your way through Engineering Design & Professional Studies
  76. You can take too much food to a picnic
  77. If you are unsure of something, just do it… within reason
  78. News is only designed to get large audiences and make money, don’t believe most of what you read
  79. Weirs can look, to some, like water anuses
  80. Strawberries and melted chocolate is a killer combo
  81. Sand animals are considered cool in some circles
  82. BBQ’s are the best type of house party
  83. Go-Karting is more fun if you skid around every corner
  84. You can accidentally drive into Italy
  85. Going up a mountain when it has been snowing doesn’t give you great views
  86. Swimming against a horizontal tide is tiring
  87. Wooden rounder’s bats may break and fly into people
  88. Being told to follow a woman covered in blood, wielding a knife is still scary
  89. Owning a bike can become the bane of one’s mere existence
  90. Formative tests are a load of bollocks
  91. Maxwell’s equations are not anyone’s idea of fun
  92. An insertion sort is quicker than a selection sort
  93. Eyebrows, if used in the correct manner, can be cause of much amusement
  94. Kittens falling over is possibly the funniest thing you can see
  95. Inception is a bloody good film
  96. If a horse stands on your foot, you’re going to feel that pain for months
  97. Seeing someone hiding underneath the pile of crisps in Tesco makes you double-take
  98. If something in your room can be broken, Viv will find a way of breaking it
  99. 99p B&Q Ant Killer does exactly that

Surrey in the Sunshine

My bike was stolen on Friday night, so I was forced to buy a new bike this weekend. Not necessarily the worst thing in the world, as the last one had lasted me the best part of 8 years and was in a bit of a state. But, alas.

To put the new bike through it’s paces, and because I needed an excuse to enjoy the sunshine, I went for a cycle to the Silent Pool, about a 45-minute cycle East of Guildford, near the North Downs. It’s a very tranquil place, and the ride involved a lot of rolling hills and open fields…

Lucky.cpp

Never get the lyrics wrong to Daft Punk’s Get Lucky ever again with just a few lines of code…

#include <iostream>
using namespace std;
int main()
{
   string pronoun[3] = { "She's", "I'm", "We're" };
   string endline[4] = { "'til the sun", "to get some", "for good fun", "to get lucky" };

   for(int i = 0; i < 12; i++)
   {
      cout << pronoun[i < 4 ? i % 2 : 2] << " up all night " << endline[i < 8 ? i % 4 : 3] << endl;
      if(i % 4 == 3) cout << endl;
      usleep(2100000);
   }
}

BEDA: Mumisms

mum·i·sm [muhm-iz-uhm]
Noun
A word or phase used by my mother that closely resembles an actual word or phase, typically technical in nature, but is in fact a humours reflection on modern life. I love my mother to bits, and these are too brilliant not to share.
“I went home at the weekend and heard this stonking mumism”

In·ter·webs [in-ter-webs]
Noun
More commonly known as the internet. While now adopted as a common mispronunciation, it was first used by my mother as early as 2003.
“I’ve just got my email on the interwebs”

My·face [mahy-feys]
Noun
Pertaining to social networks and social networking.
“now I’m on the interweb you can come on myface anytime” – My Mum, 2013 (when joining Facebook)

E·tube [ee-tyoob]
Noun
An on-line video portal where videos are shared amongst its users across the interwebs.
“what’s the best video on etube?”

The web·site [thuh web-sahyt]
Noun
A place where everything can be found.
“can you just check on the website?”, “I saw it on the website”

Lam·bor·ge·nie [lam-bawr-jee-nee]
Noun
A fast car.
“He’s so rich, he just bought a lamborgenie”

In·ter·face [in-ter-feys]
Noun
Referring to YouTube. I was confused as well.
“I saw it on the interface”

Two Cin·e·ma Seat [too sin-uh-muh seet]
Noun
A Northern Irish indie rock band more commonly known as Two Door Cinema Club.
“I love that album you got me for Christmas by two cinema seat”

De·face [dih-feys]
Verb
To remove, or “un-friend”, someone from Facebook.
“Once we’re friends can I deface them?”

 

I will be keeping the BEDA posts coming long into May. Maybe it should be called BAFT (Blog All the F-ing Time)… Until next time x