Special Post #38: The Beard Story

To beard or not to beard… this post aims to answer the ultimate question.

In continuation of my earlier post about hair, I thought I’d give a follow up. So since the last time we met one big thing has happened to my hair: it’s grown. Not been cut for a while not and I’ve got this fringe/mop thing going on. I don’t think I’m selling it very well so we can just move on.

The story of the beard starts with Movember. It’s an initiative to raise awareness for prostate cancer and men’s health. I’d love to say that I grew the beard for this, but this merely sparked the idea in my head. It wasn’t until the second week of “Movember” that I actually decided to take the plunge.

What sparked this phase was, in fact, terrorism. One night I was sitting down with my housemate Sophizzle, when I said I was thinking of growing a beard. Soph said that she believed all people with beards are terrorists. So I questioned if she’d think I was a terrorist if I grew a beard. The answer was inconclusive, so there was only one way to find out!

At this point I’d been in Switzerland for 1 week, and was about to head out for another 2. I thought this was the perfect time to grow a beard because I could grow it for 2 weeks and then return all like “SURPRISE!” and scare everyone. So that’s what I did.


In classic before and after fashion… above is before beard. And below is 2 weeks later…


And now 5 weeks later…


The beard even went to Scotland with me :)


In all the beard went through several phases. The first phase was caveman, all over look. After two weeks I decided that I preferred to go more “goatee and tash”, and that’s what I stayed with for some time (and what you can see above).

Since I’m being very open about this I may as well state the pitfalls. I never once found any food in my beard, which was more than disappointing as I fully expected to get a least a crumb. But by far the worst thing about the beard was the colour…. GINGER!

Now I have nothing against gingers, but I don’t want it on my face. Only kidding. I have to say though that it was surprising since my hair is ALL brown. If you couple the colour with the fact that the tash started getting in the way of my eating, which is very important, I decided to step the beard up to phase 3… stubble.

Admittedly it had to have passed through this step to get to phase on (the caveman beard), but this time it was more refined and, dare i say, sexy.

So that is the current state of the beard. No moustache, and a goatee stubble. Observe…

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And this is how the beard shall remain until I get bored, which might not be too long considering how often I’ve changed my appearance recently. Upon seeing Auntie Fiona in Scotland she said “you’re different every time I see you!” and this is indeed true. With the long hair, quiff, spikey hair, up hair, beard, stubble and puffy hair of the recent months it’s all a bit too much. But maybe now is the time to experiment, after all I have looked the same for the other 20 years of my life, I think I’m due a few changes…